Lyonel was a cross-eyed cat that wanted nothing more than to be in Broadway. He sang and danced day and night, but Lyonel was born too ugly. All the scouts in all the audiences just laughed when Lyonel would audition.
“That cat is much too ugly to be an actor… better change careers, boy,” all the casting crews would say.
Lyonel would cry and dance at night and when he caught his breath, then he would sing himself to sleep.
He tried in every theater he could… everyone just laughed and turned their heads.
One day Lyonel decided to try his chances in a different country and he bought a plane ticket to France. The minute he arrived to France he was greeted in a much different fashion. Everyone vowed to him and treated him as if he were royalty.
When he arrived early the next day to an audition he had learned about the night of his arrival, Lyonel was thrilled to hear the director wanted to meet him personally.
“I could not believe it, I had to see it with my own eyes… they said there was a cross-eyed cat around here and I wanted to see it for myself!” the director said as she entered the room. Then, removing her coat and dropping it carelessly on the ground as she knew her butler was right behind her to pick it up, she addressed Lyonel, “hello, kitty… you are absolutely gorgeous!”
Lyonel couldn’t believe his ears! “Gorgeous, you say? But in America everyone says I’m the ugliest cat! They don’t even let me audition for plays!”
The director was baffled! “Would you like to audition for MY play? Can you sing?”
“Can I?” Lyonel chuckled… “I’ve been practicing every night of my life!”
Lyonel sang a few notes and the director immediately fell in love with what she heard. “Lead role!” she yelled, “I have found my lead role! Why on Earth wouldn’t those silly Americans let you audition?”
“Well, they said I was too ugly.”
“Nonsense! Those silly, uncivilized Americans don’t know that in your breed, being cross-eyed is as good as it gets… you are of the finest of royal blood, my boy… heck, you are practically a king around here.”
Lyonel decided to move to France and made a living touring European theater until his death at age 40 of a pain pill overdoze.
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