In a Trench

Roadside, panicked, shaken, and faced down in a trench,
burned out, collapsing, overtaxed.
nothing is ever just quite good enough.

poor me, oh, look,
won't someone please cry down with me,
I can't awake like this again,
broken down, paralyzed
deprived of joy, happiness and/or blissful blithe.

as I come crashing down,
my pride relunctantly forces me to bring you with me,
and I am way too selfish to go down alone.
It's not that I like my ways more
it's that I don't know any other.
I have never had the presence
to take charge and take control.
Always I have been
in the shadows of it all.
Now that I'm allowed to shine,
I break down and run away.
I hide from all that's a challenge.
it's overbearing and I don't like this.
I wish I was more confident,
but confidence I cannot find.
Shall I seek a friend?
But my friends I cannot find.
They've all turned their backs...
and those I thought were there for me...
well, they all just point and laugh.

This is a great view from the trenches, though...
at least I can't go lower than this...
wait, is that an ant?